Coping

As you can imagine my brain hasn’t really been flowing with the juices of creativity this last four weeks, but I wanted to jump on to answer a question that everyone has been asking.

I have been trying to write this post for about two weeks but every time I begin a paragraph my mind fogs out and sleep calls. I tried writing on good days and I tried writing on bad days but neither one brought me the perspective I was looking for to answer the question well. The question is, are you coping? My answer on a good day, a good day being one where I have showered, drunk more than one glass of water and half a cup of tepid tea is, yes I am thank you!

A bad day would be like yesterday for example. It began with a headache. Never a good sign. I’ve been getting really bad headaches since baby was born but I now know it’s because of a lack of sleep which means waking up with one isn’t a great start.

By the end of the day everyone was overtired, cranky and full of wind. My husband had to go out again and an hour after bedtime the kids were still shouting at each other, so I began shouting back. The baby was still crying and I nearly cried back. She was so past sleep she couldn’t settle so I sat in the dark with her and I prayed. I prayed for forgiveness for shouting at my kids. I prayed for peace to fall upon the house and I prayed for strength for my husband.

The song that dropped into my heart that started an impromptu worship time is a truth that has kept my heart pumping and soul leaping despite the bone tiredness and despite the extra pressures and pains that life heaps on top of you. It’s an oldie but a goodie;

‘Great is thy faithfulness, Great is thy faithfulness.

Morning by morning new mercies I see

And all I have needed thy hand hath provided

Great is thy faithfulness Lord unto me’

Those are the moments when if you’d ask me, am I coping? I would laugh with hot tears in my eyes. Yet the real truth is, I do cope because really I am coping. Good day or bad day it eventually comes to an end and when it does I am able to recall the day as;

‘Good, with some peripheral crap to contend with that frankly I’d rather forget’

I cope because I have discovered a legal addictive stimulant called coffee ( I usually only drink tea ) I cope because I have a solid routine in my house that has kept all of us in line and in sanity, not that it works everyday. I cope because I want to thrive in motherhood not just survive and I cope because God created me to be a mother, and that fundamental truth has been driven to my absolute core.